The Courage to Be

Learning to Unlearn

Today, I explore the value of questioning what we have been taught in all areas of our life. To ask ourselves “who told me that?”. In whatever area of life we are looking at, be that our views on love, health, sex, success, career…we must ask ourselves ”what do I want to unlearn and what do I want to re-learn in this area”?

This theme is particularly fitting this week, as yesterday I spoke to the wonderful Jenny Keane on the topic of sex and sexuality, an opportunity to explore some of the beliefs mandated to us by society around sex and how that has instilled some shame and embarrassment around the topic. More to come on that in next weeks episode!

“Half of wisdom is learning what to unlearn.” Larry Niven

Here is the conversation with Alain Bottoin on the topic of love that I promised to share. 

As always, thank you for listening. 

Learn to Stay

NEW EPISODE: This week over on The Courage to Be podcast, I talk about how to stay with unpleasant feelings, the tougher feelings that we all encounter in any one day, why we are conditioned to avoid pain and what's the benefit of bringing it closer. Hey, I even wrote a poem at the very end -  perhaps lockdown is takings its toll!⠀

⁣I am moving to weekly episodes, no more seasons, you will find a new episode every Friday morning wherever you listen to your podcast. I would love your support on this so please do subscribe, you can hold me accountable! I've got some great guests lined up for the coming weeks. ⠀ 

Sending love.

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The "Pain" of Rejection

This week I talk about rejection and why it hurts.  

 

I look at why we are so susceptible to feelings of rejection, why it hurts so badly and  how we can release its grip of rejection.

Here is a link to a study which I have referenced "Emotional responses to interpersonal rejection"

Here is a study that illuminates the 'pain' of social rejection.

As always thank you for listening. 

 

 

 

Stephen Rowbotham - Olympic Rower

This week I speak to Stephen Rowbotham, a British rower. Born in the West Country, tennis and rugby were always his sports as a boy. Stephen lived in Belgium and Spain as a teenager and then went to Durham University to do Economics which is where he started to row.

After three years, Stephen was in the Great Britain u23 squad and in 2004 he was selected for Athens Olympics. Six weeks before the Games he was dropped and singled out for poor performance of the boat. Four years later he was standing on the medal podium in Beijing with an Olympic Bronze medal around my neck.

In today's conversation, Stephen opens up about what it was like to be dropped from the boat so close to the games and what motivated him to get back up and make it to the Beijing Olympics. 

As always, please do share your feedback and thank you for listening. 

A Few of My Favourite Things

⁣I thought long and hard about what to focus on in this week's solo episode and I landed on sharing with you some podcasts, insights and general themes that have resonated with me lately and, that have been very useful.

 

I talk to what it has been like to practise sitting with more uncomfortable feelings, to acknowledge and feel not just the pleasurable moments but the painful moments too. To stay with feelings of hurt, anxiety, frustration and more, instead of becoming distracted or “busy”.  I reflect on some of the wonderful insights that Dr. Edith Eger shared in her conversation with Russell Brand and why I listened to this particular conversation three times! I also refer to the work of Tara Brach who has been a voice of calm and inspiration for me in recent months.

 

I touch on radical transparency, what it means for the podcast and in more generally, in life. Oh and, I explore prayer too.  

 

I know everyone's situation is very different right now so listening to a podcast might be a complete stretch for some and perhaps not for others. I have been popping my headphones on at any opportunity and when time is extra tight (and homeschooling has completely taken over my life) I listen in bed.

 

I hope you can enjoy this or take away a nugget or two of inspiration. Please share any thoughts, I love hearing from you. 

 

Here are the links that I refer to in my podcast today: 

1. https://www.russellbrand.com/podcast/
2. https://luminary.link/zZQAgirhedb
3. https://www.tarabrach.com/cultivating-courageous-heart/

 

 

Steven C Hayes: A Liberated Mind

Introducing Season Three

In today's episode, I am interviewed by Elizabeth Cairns. I talk about how The Courage to Be has evolved, what is means in very simple terms and my aspirations for Season Three. 

 

Hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for listening. 

 

 

Kiko Matthews

After facing a life-threatening disease, 37-year-old Kiko Matthews set herself the challenge of becoming the fastest woman to solo row across the Atlantic, unassisted with no previous experience of rowing.

 

As you’ll hear in today’s episode, half way through her training, her brain tumour came back.

 

But to the surprise of many, that didn’t stop Kiko from believing she could accomplish her goal.

 

"Sitting in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, with the closest humans to me located in space, it was easy to wonder...how the hell did I get here?

 

The feat not only helped Kiko achieve a world record but also gave her the opportunity to give back to the very people that helped her survive.

Join me as I finds out exactly what it takes to break the Atlantic rowing record after brain surgery.

Click here to find out more about Kiko. 

 

A Conversation with Patricia Lindo - Founder and CEO at Style Incorporated

In todays conversation, I speak to Patricia Lindo, founder and CEO of Style Incorporated. 

Style Incorporated is a niche executive headhunting agency focused on the Luxury Fashion & Design Industry. 

Patricia (also known as Pat), takes us back to her earlier years, growing up in Sheffield and of Jamaican heritage, Pat's Mother had a huge influence on her life.

"Pat hold your head up, walk straight and be proud of who you are" were her mothers words. 

As a result, from an early age, Pat became very sure of herself and independent. 

At the age of 15, Pat decided to study fashion and after four years in University she moved to London to pursue her interest in the Fashion Industry. Pat was introduced to a world she had never experienced before, in her words "it was like a comedy show". 

She shares, with depth and meaning, many stories and experiences she had along the way. In particular the experience she gained with each role she pursued and what it was like to work in such a high pressured and competitive [fashion] industry.  But deep down, Pat was craving more. An entrepreneur at heart, Pat decided to set-up her own business in 1997, which today is known as Style Incorporated. 

Pat describes her relationship with faith; how it enables her to pause, reset and slow down. She talks about her experience with her healer and how this played an important role in Pat moving away from the materialistic world and instead choosing a simpler way of living. 

We talk about the nature of the fashion industry, the pace, the competition and the pressure. As Pat contemplates the next chapter for Style Incorporated she shares her passion for creatives and in particular, providing a pillar of support for these young creatives and the challenges they may face. 

To connect with Patricia or the team at Style Incorporated click here Style Incorporated Connect.

As always, thank you so much for listening. 

To Be the Author of Your Life

In today's episode, I draw on a wonderful quote by Carl Rogers where he defines authenticity as being the author of one's life. 

This quote resonates strongly as it talks to the empowering nature of authenticity. To feel empowered, to take ownership, to take charge, to be intentional, across every area of your life. What better feeling could we ask for, to feel like we are creating rather than reacting?

Unfortunately, we don’t always take advantage of the freedom we have to create our own life. Of course, the extent to which we have autonomy varies, for example, if you work for an organisation you must work within the scope of the company culture. Yet even so, you can look for ways to create more autonomy at work. I've seen clients do it and reap the benefits. 

Have a look at your life, both personal and professional, ask yourself "am I reacting or am I creating? "Can I look for more ways to create autonomy?"

As always, thank you all for listening.